Saturday, October 24, 2020

on countryland fruitful.

this week most exciting thing is improved salary, even a mean restaurant female acquaintance guessed it's due to heat subsidiary included. with it, I well reinforced my workspace with renewals, credit refills, etc. boosted by the saint aid, I video chatted with my hometown junior middle school classmates to express my gratitude, appreciation of their life so far. one of them, once always shown best of him with jokes now millionaire, with 3 growingup children. i also paid back quite some debter of mine. i treated myself & my son nice dinners. recently i turned more open & talkative among my frequent restaurants, speaked out my situation, esp my extraordinary aging body, my concern of state surveillance upon me years. I pray God it's affordable to befriend them there. the new Japanese heating blanket soon let my leg stronger, ease my pains & resume my body's flexibility in a sensible way. passed week also saw failing PRC surveillance hardly afford their failure to sink my web site, yesterday they using their old dirty skill to let my site down, even my web app is newest version. I restored it all the morning. God's mercy, I afford it. dear God, in several days, I will have a itch killer, 2 larger udisks for portable storage, at hand, God dad, how i felt satisfying! in this golden morning, I will soon launch & shower. I see your promised, dad God, i saw your promise filled, esp my anxiety upon my workable road toward my destiny so far. dear God dad, let's move on.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

high mountains and deep river.

20/5/2014

an in time rain again. ^ last dusk I was chased by dogs. dirty old woman tried to defame me. in the night I should enjoy American TV dramas, but recent PRC banned lots of culture products overseas, claiming they against PRC's moral system. but I still find fun alone and idle. the rain didn't start when I went to bed, but in dawn its rhythm brought me dreams and peace. I dreamt as an intern in CCTV, PRC's assigned authoritative and dominative media. I interviewed by high rank cadre of the media tyrant & fear of clumsy. I indeed in dream of poor qualified, in fact felt miserably uncompetitive.then I did field survey of society, in minority area.a kid &his elder sister talk with us in their mountain village. they are funcy and cute. dad, God, so many burdens and hostility around my Royal China, so many protection U put us and stand us upright, God, I don't deserve a complaint for bareness nor dependence. the battle last long while I prone to homesick. God, dad, coming years more depressing in the economy as well as social and politics. God, guide me and my beloved through the warren and safe onto my promised land. God, dad, in this raining morning, with my girl Lyu's attending, I felt steady and inspired.

12/5/2014

a blessing rain from my girl Lyu.^ this week felt extreme lucky. I got my own 5 letters domain, zhone.mobi, for my long time used namespace for my family, an alias of oneizh for whose logo I designed years ago. during hard time of PRC's sliding low economy, I cling to concrete asset like the domain, with which I gathered courage to buy 5 years at once. my debt this month amounts to near ￥2000, but I felt easier since last sunny day and moisture days follow. this week also especially long for PRC public calendar shift labor day vacation and made the workweek 6 days. My son hesitated to me when we reunited. later he explained last week I blamed he didn't try new video games hurt him. we soon enjoyed together again, with lots of game playing. I treated him Dico's lunch after more than a month's break for hard economy. the weekend can't be more splendid. this dawn I dreamt first helping my 2nd elder bro rip ghost from his son or grand son.then dream on a train, usually most jamming and noise and dirty travel method, we occupied a small space,say kitchen, and cozy.after a meeting, one Guy, Xiu haitao, a big build Guy among my Qrrs colleagues once loaned me to pursue master degree in Nankai Univ back to 1999, gave up and left the kitchen with his baggage. when I got up to pee, I felt afraid of ghosts. I soon boot up for breakfast in canteen. the rain too beautiful to miss. God, bring me sooner my Royal China. help me stroll over the hard time in sinking PRC and its tyrant party. fetch back our leisure life style with dicos meal, and online shopping once a week or monthly. thx dad, God. secure my cyberspace assets and ease my concern of their security.

3/5/2014

dreamt exile. ^ First dreamt escape with General Chiang Kai-shek's army. Then dreamed with a German family. They live in the only tiny forest in Germany. their son tried to make friends during exile, make use of drug to feel better. his aunt, a girl, brings his parents to rescue him, forced his physical exercise in their yard. I liked the aunt in dream. after I scrabbled some of the dream and continued to sleep, I probed advantage of German. I played with the family, esp the father. Its a funny international labor day. my son expected it heartedly, for it includes movie "Captain America 2" in 3D cinema, steak lunch, visiting my dorm, and luxurious breakfast next morning in U.B.C coffee. it turned out really memorable. during the vacation I also claimed family 13th domain, riveryog.biz. its the only 8 letters domain we have. the .biz also enchants me so long. its all nice except hard finance weighted me lots. my eldest brother promised loan me ￥1000 while several days passed the tranaction didn't happen. I actually worried about draining out situation in my business. I hope I can break down barrier of debt, but it more and more shakes my confidence. God, I saw ur affirmative and uphold to it. God, dad, just let my work and life rolling like usual, smooth like deep river. God, I have lots to hope, but most in hurry is my Royal China. bring me sooner my girls, my Queens into my new family, and our children beautiful and gifted under new realm of my Empire of China, spans 1109 years follows.

24/4/2014

dreamed of being a graduate and in love with a girl Lyu. ^ in dawn dream I just after national graduate exam, and enrolled by Jilin University, an ivy league campus. my crushed girl Lyu also will study there the same year and only us 2 enrolled by the Univ. the term. my major is Cg, computer graphics and post effect, with parents, which odd in both eyes of girl Lyu and mine. my 2nd elder bro accompanied me to report in open season. he hurried me to sleep same bed in dorm with him but I felt queer & rejected. a little girl slept on a bed near me talking me while her grandma ordered her leaving. they beat each other. I tried to save the crying girl,then wake up. Girl Lyu loves me too.her major now forgot. when I met her among our classmates, I felt so sweet and so is she. in the end of dream, we got to know the campus is not in down town but quite rural. God, this month salary arrived lately, 200 more than March's. thx for the gift. we still in debt of ￥1000 and more. I hope I can fix it with my salary in coming seasons as summer can be busier season and brings more products ordered for the SOE, QRRS, my once and long time employer. celebrating the salary quite impressive. I bought my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, God of Universe, toast duck as planned, we enjoyed it so much. next day I bought him persimmons after knew he missing it. handing in subscription for boarding and fruits went also quite smooth. sometimes only experienced hard time before you know normal life and its costs so important to be sustained. God, dad, bring me sooner my Royal China, my Queens, Asoh Yukiko, girl Lyu, girl Zhou, girl TW. thx for this blessing morning enacted me before 6am. thx for life comes so peaceful.

From 2014 admires

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

life in new milestone.

29/11/2011

farewell and new hope for meeting my girl Zhou nearby.^ this month i grew with my son, in pc games as well as in emotional difficulties. my dearest son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, sites' owner of warozhu.com and wozon.net, visited my QRRS dorm last Friday night, among cheers of my improved salary, which amount to ￥2500. his growing teeth in rotating period and sometimes funny when laughing with bare gum. his mom still hurt me when greedy upon my salary with which i promised totally cover our son's living and i wouldn't use a penny on my own after my new family forges. her dirty family, including the grandma recent months frequently appeared to lend hands to clean house, laundry or even bath my son. i wouldn't allow any insane persons approaching my brilliant son as usual, so sinful betrayal by baby's mother over her duty to care my son, like bathing him, really annoy me. after the occasion i witness my son bathed by the grandma, i urged my son to have shower in public bathroom, which he dislikes very much, with me, he changed his mind and agreed. direct parenthood means much in my family, since my grand father's influence, and in holy spirit. God, u see it.
next week will sees memory days for my parents. my mother passed on Dec 1, 2010, which my father, God in Heaven now, left the earth on Dec 18, 2008. in these days, i got to know forgiving common people's sins against my Royal of China, under Holy shrine. i knew God's setting to enrich my experience here on the ground, including of course the darker particles against void. in these days, China surveillance broke my stable fast lunch supply, and i now enjoy QRRS in factory canteen. i looking forward more chances to meet up my 3rd wife, girl Zhou, who ignite my burning seeking cry in cyberspace since 2006 and includes this blog. Asoh Yukiko, my Crowned Queen of Royal China from Japan, u attending the transition and gathering the moment that will catalyze our fate ahead predetermined, from ur catering in the years. God, bring my girls in our limelight. bring my son his seasonal gift u promised. dad, u see.

22/11/2011

dreamed of crusade.yesterday i had good time with my son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, Hope of China, owner of warozhu.com and wozon.net, with his favorite KFC food i borrowed from QRRS Dorms canteen to buy. my workday's lunch supplier went bankrupt, among sinful China surveillance which against me and my allies. in the dawn i dreamed of close combat with cold weapon, with my team against several enemies. God shows me again his gift on me when i pray in the dream, empowered me with people and followers. Its a bright morning now, save and gospels just arriving.
God, bring my girls sooner into my coming new marriages. save my Royal China, save my beloved. present my baby son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, God of Universe, a dell game desktop in year end, as u promised. thx u, dear Father.

8/11/2011

dreamed of worms in flesh again.^got up around 4am to release bladder, then powered notebook to d/l, even later after got up found damned China surveillance broke sessions&hanged all d/l. dreamed of my son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe, owner of sites warozhu.com and wozon.net. my kid brother these years lingered in Guangdong, southern China, likely also appeared in my dawn dream. dreamed a hand itches, with a knife thrust the palm and turned the inside flesh out, found worms swarmed in the flesh&eating. Its not first time I dreamed of worms biting living flesh under skin, and quite disgusting scene but healing by exposing and eliminating the sick part of body. Its a golden sunny morning now, and also today lunar Winter beginning day, or 立冬. God, bring my new family with my girls in the celebrating year end, when joy seeking hearts clogging social meeting places everywhere, including the cyberspace on Internet.

From snow&winter 2011 among the growing global warming

From snow&winter 2011, among growing global warming

From snow&winter 2011 among growing global warming

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Friday, October 28, 2011

bell rings for new family ahead in late Autumn sunray.

27/10/2011

God breaks me and slow my rhythm for full joy of life.^now is pale morning with frost in air. last night I planned to overnight download a pc game but near 9pm the lan in QRRS Dorms suddenly halted down. for I concentrated in pc gaming, and I also don't have much pals in the dorm to inquiry the cause, so I let it to resume automatically. but it didn't. I woke up near 4am and yet failed to fix it, likely the Internet access rule on the router changed. then I tried to sort recent photos, esp some of warrenzh 朱楚甲's works in last weekends in nearby park of his mom's house. God, u see how I enjoy the downstream from world of democratic, how the rotting PRC killing itself in incompatible and incompetent among new world's unleashed fresh era of collision and rebuild, inc riots in Libya or Chinese western neighbors, years of liberation theology re-track. God, allow my girls see clearer my joys in them, in every moment if our live together. rip them doubts and closer our backyard retreat in time. God, what I promised my girls u granted never changes. Royal of China in 1109 years in future arise dauntless brilliance. God, forever guide my life and faith!

15/10/2011

my sweet, a tall girl, first time appears in my dream lives me together.^last night peeking eyes pierced the relation between my son and me, the trinity, for quite some time. I had to buzz son second time to talk himself while first call received by his mom and rebuffed by son upon my message of the new half full moon first time in sky since the month. we enjoyed the direct conversation in air. in dawn I dreamed living with my sweet, a tall girl I can't point out either my girl Zhou or my Taiwan girl or my other beloved praying for me, we make a living by collecting rubbish, among some other pals in the same business on a huge wasteland. when we return to market or our habitation, a student sought through our collection and bought one old book. peace in my mind when I live with my tall girl, who first time appears in my living life, in the dream when dealing routine life. then dreamed of baby son, warrenzh, God of Universe, Hope of China, owner of warozhu.com and wozon.net, again full of affirmatives. that reminds me an old game we recently reviewed, "Wall-E", which depicted current human habitation will turn into desert and dump. I got up a bit later, trying to describe the holy message and blog it while the sunshine outside turning warmer and brighter. God, my heart for my girls, with whom we unite in one, never open. pl grant our new family, Royal China, sooner during our prime light. God, even my salary improved to ￥2300 two months ago, with which I quite felt satisfying, still I pray u grant my son, warrenzh, a new dell game desktop in this year end by bonus! God, let down the insane spying around the holy family, and glory forever to U!

5/10/2011

dreamed visiting my parents' tombs in my hometown.^yesterday full of bliss. Holy message let me review sinister plot by son, warrenzh's mother's family in her kid sister's wedding ceremony. I felt trembling in angry. after a full load of work online&offline, I visited son after withdrew some of my new salary, which, thx God, increased to near ￥2400/month. I bought son some KFC he likes. I had to buzz his mom&waited some time for they just haunting outside. the woman again shown greediness and evil attempts to infringe my financial independence. she event threatened depriving my privilege to visit my son. this dawn I dreamed visiting my hometown, Zhudajiu, central China. 2 village folks, 朱洪全 and 朱中旺, accompanied me and introduced changes in the village. when I saw my parents' tombs, I felt pains in mourning, esp for my mother who informed her elapsing days before her end of life. my grandpa's tomb close to that of my dad, God in Heaven now. in the magic retrospect/glimpse, I know I am among my siblings the best heir that inherit my dad's merits and mindset, also well as his mission&vision on the earth. Its a brilliant sunny morning now. God, u save.

20/9/2011

dreamed of the Son and righteous of God.^dreamed of the most traditional business of Chinese society, bodyguard. in the beginning, I worked for a Chinese martial coaching club and witness it wax and wade. then dreamed Portuguese took over the business. the boss is mighty and stern, in the end of its doom day, his staff, mostly Chinese, betrayed him and even trying profaning his most beloved kid girl. I saw God's message and demonstration so clear that I felt saved after woke up.

From Autumn 2011&late summer memories

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Monday, September 19, 2011

harvest season sends son, warrenzh, into his first school term.

19/9/2011

a lengthy dream in dawn about manipulation between QRRS authority and me.^first dreamed of the authority of QRRS, my once and long time employer, attempted to shape my way by contacts. then dreamed a staff of the communist youth league of QRRS editing my novel I submitted for a composition competition. then he turned into a girl of my hometown village, trying being friend me. when i woke up, its a warm and bright morning. its monday before National Day of PRC. i gathered my recent records for the publish for promising on horizon in new light. God, now its cloudy in the afternoon, bring my girls my love and promise. bring our warm family sooner!

18/9/2011

benzrad comment in cyberspace on the day.

doomed Chinese engineers and IT industry, with their inherited demon.

also hell with PRC. core sin is the fake atheism, socialism imported from old crap of Russia and Germany. sinful engineers nowadays still an ally of communist partisan, all innocent Chinese will laugh with tears on the day the wrecked sunk shabby construction drains the last dirty and dark conglomerates on China mainland, the scarred land since the fall of Ming Dynasty, a treasure of my ancestor in title Zhu.
benzrad, the Son, here attest the fate of China as an Empire reset in his title for 1109 years in future.

为什么中国的程序员技术偏低 - cnBeta.COM

首先来说一个高级程序员并非靠自己读几本书写几万行代码就能练就的，我更关注于低层的环境，也就是程序员实实在在的工作环境。因为程序员的高低还得从实际的工作来衡量，而非其它。所以我想说的是，中国的软件公司的性质直接导致程序员的水平的高低。而我所说的软件公司，不是指某个或者某几个，而是指主流的软件公司，大众型的软件公司。所以我希望那些已经步入一个理想的公司的程序员理解我这篇文章的定位

14/9/2011

dreamed of my youngest elder sister.yesterday full of bliss. but darkness in son's mom's heart, esp. her greediness really annoyed me when I in need or financially pinched by short term short of currency these days. long time i made it i will never look back into her life or business, and indeed avoided her dirt and trouble since our divorce. after some reviews, i decided not to encounter her sinister plots. this morning God woke me up earlier, shoot a photo of the early full moon through my window in dawn light. then napped again. dreamed in my kid elder sister's house. i love her very much and she did so back. when i busy with preparing my son something, she was electrically shocked by wrecked socket on wall. Its a touchingly milk washing shiny Autumn morning, thx God.

13/9/2011

dreamed of being sieged by mob&cheating government.^ last night restless on bed. in the dawn dreamed in campus mistakenly ate a street vendor's food and hijacked into government agent for judge. a man and a woman dubiously trying to settle our conflict, but just cheating and profiting for the troubled water. after the vendors, in first look a couple but according the agency's message the man is a hooligan member charging to rent their protection, left me, and the agent attempted to make deal with me, i was sieged by mop of Chinese on way escaping. its a pale morning now. God, u see all the sins around me, the Son and his Royal of China. God, killing likely brewing but intact is the heart of loving. God, let's do it, for changes in new years and grace in new lives.

12/9/2011

sunny mid-Autumn holiday.^these days engaged myself with full load of d/l of games, and most of moments with baby son full of joy of playing these beautiful softwares and visions it carries. this morning baby son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, owner of warozhu.com and wozon.net, buzzed in when i still lately napping, urged me visit him sooner to join pc games. its a extraordinary warm Autumn day, also lunar Mid-Autumn holiday, so i can lingered with son most of the holiday which exactly means gathering for traditional Chinese. the grandma prepared lunch. son ate more than usual, after we broke gameplay for the dinner. his mom still busy with her pupils, while we made progress in pc game "garteling gears", a favorite for armored robotic combat fans like us, after many sweating failures. when his mom urged my leaving for they are going shopping outside, son refused my kissing his cheek but obviously relaxed by those games we played together all the morning. on bus and in QRRS dorm, when i facing my computer alone, sorrow debt to my girls haunting me again. i know my girls' willing my messages and our promised family. so i blogged again here after so much contented weeks and nights by my son's companion&visit, including those beautiful pc games. God, u know how i expect change in my life prepared for my girls, for my Royal of China as an Empire reset for 1109 years ahead, under glorious family name Zhu's, a resume to brilliant history since Ming Dynasty, built from scratch by Zhu Yuanzhang, my legendary ancestor. God, u know how my heart weighted by missing and soaring thirsts for my girls in praying our union in our promised lavish wedding ceremony. God, u know all these is the fate of one Chinese of one China under ur shine, never seen grace and glory.
so here again, wind of cool and clear and blessing, brings my girls my word, my heart never close for their perfume, their shiny descending, my way to the throng never evades my girls' companion. my dearest, just let the Mighty angels clear barriers and pave the carpet for greater grace in our coming lives. i missing u and forging ever stronger linkage among us every moments in my suffering here as God trains. brave heart save u, my dearest!

5/9/2011

dreamed of my grand dad who is serious in dawn.^dreamed I lingered in a poor countryside latrine pit when I napped while downloading in this shinny morning. my kid brother was brought by our dad, who is serious, from his recent diarrhea and still let him half bent his waist when walking, with his baggage on back, to sent him away to fetch his national college entrance exam score from his school. my brother told me he will bring my teenage friend to accompany me, but I didn't respond but just wondering my lost item in the shits pool. dad shown his loving me in dream.

21/8/2011

Pray for ever-green energy among the Holy.^ warm sunny afternoon. God, bring me fresh monuments in our gatherings among son, warrenzh's budding life. free me off trifle and meaningless rush against orthodox smothering in PRC's mainstream now. God, see ur untouchable glory in our eyes. son, warrenzh, owner of warozhu.com and wozon.net, now in his mom's hometown journey, blesses him fortune of lightning heart and deep insight.

benzrad conversation in cyberspace on the day.

benzrad zhu Aug 9, 2011 (edited)

in north, esp northeastern China, dogs rampant. they r the main source of mafia and dog system in nowadays PRC government.: RT: 同样是沿海城市，面对PX时大连和厦门的表现截然不同。

Kaurana Nathalie Merle much divine energy to you in china! 8:11 AM (edited)

benzrad zhu thx, surely my happiest moment is in one with the Holy. 10:21 AM

Kaurana Nathalie Merle :))))) 3:43 PM

Kaurana Nathalie Merle could you explain dog system? thank you :) hope you have a lovely day....4:15 PM (edited)

benzrad zhu cops and bureaucracy, and undermined fake representations in governing or constitution bought from Red Revolution near a century ago, both prey common civilian in totalitarian nations, by monopolizing their gangsters (as an obvious characteristic of dog, on the contrary Christian prefers solitary redemption from God.), separating&dissolving normal social bandage into docile individuals, for the sake of their massive abuse of sole state power. 4:35 PM

19/8/2011

a dream in dawn in which my dad, now in Heaven, stayed with me longest.^Yesterday I tried to unlocked my 163 and qq blog blocked under censorship by China surveillance. in the process I asked one of my qq online contacts to help me verify my mending at same time. the bitchy site owner also in my family name Zhu, irritated me with his narrow acid spying mind, so we exchanged some stingy words. the sky darkened since them. after dinner I risked raining to jog out routinely. when I passed my ditched office, it turned sunny again. so I dropped in the office and found the employer dispatching a suite for its staff and I was not evaded. brought the gift I packed to visit my son, just after our Tuesdays' visit when son called me to rid him of the sinful grandma's custody while his mom occupied by her school duty. this dawn dreamed I competed soccer with QRRS pals team, with my family. then my passed dad, God in Heaven now, serving me for most time when I enjoyed delicacy while sat atop a cliff waiting for my son's visit. my dad contented&smiled with full hearts' joys all time. its now a sunny morning and I know God's promising. God, bring my girls sooner into our new marriages. let son sooner enjoy his new dell game desktop. let me treat son with his pals with buffet in new holiday ahead. God, dad, I love u. this my gratefulness in witness of Asoh Yukiko, my Queens of Royal China from Japan.